Caroline in the City quotes - Caroline in the City Fansite

Del : 

What's the women favorite thing to do?

Richard : 

Talk.

Del : 

No, shop!

Richard : 

You obviously never worked here.

Caroline : 

(about Del) You know, you could try being nicer to him.

Richard : 

Yeah, and I could watch Tori Spelling play Medea. But life is just too short.

Annie : 

So, aren't you getting really horny?

Caroline : 

What do you think?

Annie : 

So what do you do?

Caroline : 

What do you think?

Richard : 

(irritated) Ok, that's it! Look Caroline, that's exactly what we were talking about!!!

Annie : 

You two were talking about...?

Caroline : 

Not what you think!!!

Caroline : 

(about Annie's bad dates) The sniffer... The guy who wouldn't tell you his name...

Remo : 

The guy who was the lousy tipper...

Annie : 

He was poor!

Remo : 

Then eat at home!

Richard : 

Hey Charlie! One of my painting is gonna be on the show!

Charlie : 

On Broadway?

Caroline : 

Charlie, how can a painting be in the show on Broadway?

Charlie : 

It all starts with the dream...

Richard : 

Well, thanks for the company, but I think better just go to bed to sleep off what left of this miserable night.

Annie : 

Richard, it's your birthday, there's still one more thing we have to do...

Richard : 

I'm not that drunk...

Richard : 

(to Del and Annie) Why don't you just leave her alone? Look, Caroline has some standards. Something that you both learned to live without.

Caroline : 

Well, thank you Richard.

Richard : 

Yeah, of course if you really had standards you wouldn't have done something such disgusting in a first place.

Caroline : 

Richard, there is still one rope left...

Richard : 

Only if it's long enough to go round my neck...

Caroline : 

So, it's 'no'?

Richard : 

No, it's sarchastic 'no'!

Richard : 

So, you're jealous of this guy...

Del : 

No! I just don't like the idea of some good looking guy out with my girlfiend.

Richard : 

I know someone who's getting a dictionary for Christmas.

Shelly : 

Ooo, fruitcake! I love fruitcake!

Annie : 

Well, you are what you eat...

Annie : 

(to Richard) Hold on! You mean you can paint people that look like people???

Caroline : 

(gives her look)

Annie : 

What? You've seen his paintings...

Richard : 

I'm stuck!

Del : 

What do you mean?

Richard : 

I'm stuck. Are you having trouble with "I'm" or "stuck"?

Tom : 

Yeah, that's great, that's good, because I want this to be more than just a fling.

Caroline : 

Gee, and here I was hoping it'd be cheap and tawdry.

Tom : 

Caroline, I'm married.

Caroline : 

Oh, so it is cheap and tawdry!

Charlie : 

[about their double dates] What do you think, what do you think?

Del : 

Charlie, when you said Laura had an old school friend visiting, I assumed it'd be a classmate of hers, not her third grade math teacher!

Richard : 

So, this guy was buying a sweater in the men's department and you just picked him up? You don't know anything about him.

Caroline : 

I know...stuff about him. He's a large.

Richard : 

And you're a small. His people will never accept you.

Richard : 

Right. Look, in case you haven't noticed, I'm not exactly a people person. I don't do too well with love. Every relationship that's ever meant anything to me, I've... destroyed, singlehandedly. I have driven them all away. I just don't want that to happen with Caroline. I am not going to take that risk again.

Maddie : 

(pause) Oh, boo hoo hoo! So you're just going to do nothing?

Del : 

You know that thing women are always saying, 'Size doesn't matter!' That's true, right?

Annie : 

Del, give women some credit. Of course size doesn't matter! Unless you're having sex.

Pete Spadaro : 

Look, pop, I don't want to hurt your feelings, but I'm just not cut out for the funeral business.

Lou Spadaro : 

Then all of a sudden, you're too good for it. Let me tell you something, Petey. I started that business with nothing but a dead body and a dream!

Johnny : 

Poverina, you look so upset. You look just like that girl I saw in the movie last night.

Annie : 

Which movie?

Johnny : 

The one with the upset-looking girl in it. But she only had one finger. It starts off in a sawmill-

Annie : 

No, stop. Don't ruin it for me.

Caroline : 

You're Richard's mother?

Natalie : 

Did he tell you I was dead? Usually he tells everyone I'm dead.

Annie : 

No, he said you lived in Utah.

Natalie : 

Utah? I'd rather be dead!

Del : 

(about Caroline's cereal) So, what's your gimmick going to be? You know, are you fruity, nutty, crunchy?

Caroline : 

Actually, I think I'm a flake.

Richard : 

Anyone want that one?

Annie : 

(about Richard) Oh, you're just bummed because they're not making the Richard Karinsky cereal, Not-So-Cheerios.

Charlie : 

So, uh... (reads her name tag) Nan. Is that short for Nancy?

clerk : 

(sarcastic) No, it's short for Nanook. I'm an Eskimo.

Charlie : 

You don't look it. So, is there a Mr Nan?

Caroline : 

(telling her dream) I was getting married, and I was wearing this dress, and that bra, you know the one that cuts me right here.

Angie : 

See, she wears a bra - even in her dream!

Caroline : 

Anyway, you were there, and I was about to walk down the aisle when Richard came in, and he gave me a cheque...and he kissed me.

Annie : 

(gasps) Richard?!

Angie : 

(gasps) A cheque?!